You may be a wife or a significant other to someone who has expressed interest in getting a motorcycle. This is a topic that is more commonly dreaded by most to discuss in the first place.
Thinking about your husband or significant other owning a motorcycle can be a scary thought. You hear horror stories of people who have owned them and the predicaments they were put in because of their motorcycle.
So, what should you do when your husband wants a motorcycle? If your husband wants a motorcycle and you don’t want him to have one, you’ll need to have a civil, open discussion with him about your concerns. Be open to his side of the debate and consider setting boundaries and negotiations if he were to get a motorcycle.
Though I am not an expert on the subject, I have personally been in this situation myself as a wife. My husband and I had the tough discussion about him getting a motorcycle. In fact, he has owned over a dozen motorcycles over the past 5 years. This is what I’ve learned and this is what has helped me through this process.
Your Reaction To Your Husband Wanting A Motorcycle
Discussing with your husband or significant other about whether or not they should get a motorcycle is a hard place to be in. It can often cause contention and in some cases, it can cause severe fights between couples.
I am not here to tell you what you should and should not do in this situation. A discussion like this is a case-by-case thing and the answer should be found between you and your husband.
I can, however, give some helpful tips that will hopefully ease your navigation through such a discussion and decision. Like I mentioned before, my husband has own over a dozen motorcycles in the past few years. I was not happy when he wanted to buy that first one.
My concerns were all the common ones: cost, time, and most of all his safety. I didn’t want to end up a newly wedded widow. The biggest cause of contention in a discussion like this is due to the wife or significant other not wanting their husband getting a motorcycle because they’re “not safe” and the husband becomes frustrated because they feel like a child and can’t pursue a hobby they’re interested in.
If you happen to be a member of a couple who has to have this discussion, the first thing to remember is to not react poorly and resort to yelling or blaming. This will only lead to an unwillingness from your husband or significant other to openly discuss the issue.
You need to approach a situation like this with an open, honest, and civil discussion with each other. First ask your husband why he wants the motorcycle in the first place. Is it a mid-life crisis? Is he just bored at home? Is it something he’s always wanted to do? Next, express the concerns you have about them owning a motorcycle and that it is because of your love for them that you feel you’re against it; you simply want them to be safe.
Don’t automatically tell them no. You can say that you’re against it and that the two of you need to discuss it thoroughly before a decision is made. The two of you are a team and an investment like this should be done by the both of you.
I’m not saying you have to eventually say “yes” either. If you have had discussions and you still feel like your husband or significant other getting a motorcycle is out of the question, that’s a conclusion you’ll have to come to together. This is where negotiation should take place (which will be discussed later in this article).
The Pros And Cons Of Your Husband Owning A Motorcycle
You should consider the pros and cons if you’re still mulling over in your mind about whether or not to “let” your husband get a motorcycle. These were points I researched myself and asked others about. This is what ultimately eased my mind when my husband got his first motorcycle.
I’ve also shared this list with others who were in a similar situation. This list is what ultimately lead to a “no” on the motorcycle for some.
Pro of your husband owning a motorcycle: his happiness and less contention . It’s kind of fun watching your husband or significant other purchase a motorcycle they’ve always wanted. It’s like they turn into a child at a candy store; the smile on their face is priceless and the amount of contention about the matter will significantly decrease.
Pro of your husband owning a motorcycle: his mental health. Studies have actually found that riding a motorcycle can improve your mental health. Being on a motorcycle means you’re spending more time outside. According to heart.org, spending time outside can help relieve stress and anxiety, improve your mood, and boost feelings of happiness and well being.
Pro of your husband owning a motorcycle: he’ll increase his mechanical skills. Some may think I’m stretching it a little bit when I say this, but I assure you that I’m not stretching anything. Motorcycles are much more simple to work on so simple fixes can be easily learned.
Once your significant other learns how to do fixes on a motorcycle, they may not be as intimidated to work on the car and save you a lot of money. This is exactly what happened with my husband and he has saved us literally thousands of dollars in car repairs. To see more benefits of riding a motorcycle, see our article here.
Con of your husband owning a motorcycle: they can be more dangerous. Motorcycles themselves are not dangerous vehicles, it’s the lack of protection they have that can be dangerous. Being an unsafe rider or riding under the influence can be even more dangerous.
Con of your husband owning a motorcycle: they cost money. It’s no secret that in order to get a motorcycle, you’ll have to pay some money to get it. Not to mention the insurance and maintenance that’s required to keep up with it. This in itself can cause some contention down the road.
Con of your husband owning a motorcycle: limited space. If your husband or significant other were to buy a motorcycle, they’d only have room for maybe a passenger and that’s it. Taking smaller kids on errands is not an option and using it for grocery shopping isn’t possible either. It’d be a vehicle strictly for recreational purposes and to get them from point A to point B.
Negotiations If The Answer Is No
If you simply are not budging and will not have a motorcycle be involved in your family, you may be in for some further discussions and contention even years down the road. Saying no to your husband’s dream of getting a motorcycle can leave him feeling frustrated and with less control of his life. That’s why negotiating is so important.
A good compromise leaves both parties a little uncomfortable. A motorcycle is something your significant other wants but they can’t get it. What are you willing to negotiate that will leave you a little uncomfortable but will keep your husband a little more happy?
Perhaps you could negotiate that instead of a motorcycle, he can get a dirt bike or a four wheeler. Perhaps you’d be willing to let your husband or significant other still spend the money he would have on the motorcycle on something else he loves so he isn’t left completely empty-handed. Let them feel like they have some control over the situation.
Negotiations If The Answer Is Yes
If the pressure is on and you gave in by giving your husband the go-ahead to get a motorcycle, you can often be left feeling like you’re empty handed. That’s a big investment for something that you probably feel is a death trap waiting to happen.
These negotiations go both ways: if your husband or significant other is going to own a motorcycle, the two of you will need to compromise and leave you feeling like you’re getting something out of the deal.
You can compromise on the type of motorcycle he gets. Instead of a bullet bike, perhaps you’d be more comfortable with him getting a cruiser. You can discuss how big of an engine you’re willing to let him get. You can also discuss some specific riding rules.
For example, one condition I set for my husband when he got a motorcycle is that I didn’t want him riding on any roads that went over 50 MPH. He didn’t like it, but he agreed. That left both of us still a little uncomfortable but we still met in the middle.
Adding a motorcycle to the picture or completely shutting down the idea doesn’t have to be a win-lose situation. Compromising is key and can really help in a situation like this.
What are some tips on how to be a good motorcycle passenger? As a motorcycle passenger, you should always wear a helmet, wear long pants, wear ankle covering shoes, help direct the driver, mount the motorcycle after the driver and dismount the motorcycle before the driver. For more information, see our article here.
How many people can fit on a motorcycle? The max amount of people that can fit on a motorcycle is two. It is entirely dangerous to attempt to have any more passengers than that; the motorcycle will probably not be able to haul much more weight than that anyway.